Baby Snippets | Reflections on parenting year 1

In honor of NLW's first birthday, I've compiled some thoughts and advice on having a little baby. You won't find a list of must-have registry items, specific brands, or techniques, but rather an inside look into the mindset and perspective I tried to maintain while being kicked around by the rowdy duo known as "Eating & Sleeping". The two crucial components that have caused parents grief for years and years and years. If you're not having problems or concerns about one of them, are you even a real parent? : )

 From our personal experience with this specific child, here's what I have to share:

- I often think of this season as the "easy days." NLW is a cheerful child, easy on the go, and still totable. The toddler years/multiple children seem much more daunting to me!

- Our "ups and downs" of parenting often occured within the same 24-hour period. We'd have a hard morning, a good afternoon, an awful night, and then a so-so early morning. Good to remember it comes in waves!

- No matter how the night went, I'd celebrate the morning with a big happy greeting and say "we made it through!" Life feels a little more manageable after 6am!

- Set a timer. Timers are your friend. I've been using timers for various things basically since contractions started :) 

- We were fortunate to have very few "sleepless" nights. NLW was pretty great at chunking sleep from an early age and soothe back to sleep. So I liked to think of the night wakings over the first year as "intermissions." I expect this disjointed sleep will come periodically and know that terrible hair-pulling, doubt-yourself sleepless nights may still be ahead with regressions, teething, and potty-training. Yikes! 

- Sometimes it's helpful not to look at the clock to see what time it is. If your baby is up and needs you, then you're up too!

- Getting out of the house has always been invigorating and energizing for me. It helps me enjoy the world around me instead of getting all tied up in the timing of naps and feedings. In the very early days, I would leave the door thinking "this could be a disaster" but for the most part, NLW has always done well out and about! 

- I think of the first 3-4 months as a free for all! No structure, no schedule, whatever works for naps and feedings.

- When with friends, sometimes I wanted to talk about mom stuff and sometimes I didn't. It was nice to have a group of people to dive into the nitty gritty of nap schedules and puree ingredients and others that were more interested in things I was reading or thinking about. Find outlets for both!

- If your baby can take a bottle use that to your advantage and get time for yourself. 

- It's okay to say "no", lessen your commitments, and step back while you acclimate to life with a little one. 

- Hard days happen. Your child will go on nap strikes and boycott food from his plate. Sometimes he'll wake up with poop all over his crib. I regularly say "It's part of life" and just try and roll with it!

- Singing our words in a made up tune was our number one way of dealing with a stressful situation. Crying baby? Fussy baby? Squirmy baby? Sing. Sing. Sing! 

- Playing tag with a baby is important. You tag in and out with your partner :) We'd say "I'm tagging out. He's all yours." and simply rotate until things cooled down or we regained some energy.

- If things felt hard or weren't going smoothly, I often reminded myself that "I wanted this!" and this hard thing is simply part of having a baby!

- Things can feel so important in the moment, but I'm honestly not going to remember how/when/or if NLW napped on a Tuesday in April. It all passes so quickly.

- Treat your first baby like it's your third.

- Avoid parenting blogs or speculating amongst friends and just ask your pediatrician!

- Put your phone away. Choose to cherish/capture certain moments without taking a picture. 

- At the same time, you'll also never regret having "too many" videos. 

- Ask for help!

- Say "yes" when people offer you help. 

- It's totally normal to look through photo albums of your baby at all times of day.

- Study your baby's face - it changes so much in the first year.

- Getting take out is almost never a bad option. Don't get mopey if you didn't have the chance to buy groceries or make dinner.

- I have so much more empathy toward other parents now! You just never know someone's full story, or what the past 24 hours have been like for them. 

- Saying aloud that it's been 6.5 months since I slept through the night sounds worse than it really was.

- A new normal will emerge. Embrace it, knowing that it might change again in another few weeks!

- There's so many cute and adorable and special and ordinary moments that occur. I really love being a mom to this little boy!

- SJW